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Sunday, May 5, 2013

Thoughts on Domestic Violence

Men who beat their wives are disgusting and very insecure. A girl used to work for me some 20 years ago, she would come with a black eye to the office, and always produced an excuse that her horse kicked her, she had a few. Finally she cried out loud, and we were all gentle with her. Her mother and my staff advised her to report him –she would not, but kept getting beat up all the times. Her suffering was over after the divorce. What made her stay in the relationship was beyond me.

I had another person who worked for me who was a wife-gay, he came to office with black eyes as well. He passed away after a while; we could not get him to get out of the relationship either. It was difficult for all of us to see someone we loved take so much abuse. Is there a tell tale sign to know about the abusers before getting into a relationship?

My late wife helped many with Domestic Violence and I have driven with her in the middle of the night to help some of the women. It was very painful. Thank God there are many Domestic Violence help centers now, volunteer community counseling is available as well. If you have friends, please guide them to the counseling centers and be kind to them, they just want someone to hear without interrupting.
A few interactions from facebook

Over 40 Comments at this locationhttps://www.facebook.com/photo.phpfbid=10152819908080249&set=pcb.10152819913590249&type=1&theater

Reshmi Inamdar shares the link to Preventing & Identifying Abusive relationships

How do we find our freedom?

Do you know the story where a elderly monk and a younger one were standing at the edge of the shallow river to cross - there was a pregnant lady wanting to cross and was afraid of it. Monks were reluctant to help her as they cannot touch a woman. Finally the elder monk carries the lady on his back, drops her on the other side. As the two continued their walk -- the younger one criticizes the elder one... "that ladys legs were wrapping around your body, that her breast were touching your back..... why did you do that?" The elderly man looks up at the youth - and says, "young man, I dropped that lady half a mile back, you still carry her on you mind?

We all need to make an effort to seek forgiveness and forgive others - there is a beautiful phrase in the Jain tradition called - Michami Dukadam - that is cleaning each others mental slate and starting afresh. Its easy to say, but difficult to follow. But what are the choices? How do we regain our normal self that can be good to our loved ones? Our children, friends and family members do not deserve our moods, do they? Can we work on uplifting ourselves? All we can do it make a serious effort.

....... Mike Ghouse is a speaker, thinker and a writer on pluralism, politics, peace, Islam, Israel, India, interfaith, and cohesion at work place. He is committed to building a Cohesive America and offers pluralistic solutions on issues of the day at www.TheGhousediary.com. He believes in Standing up for others and has done that throughout his life as an activist. Mike has a presence on national and local TV, Radio and Print Media. He is a frequent guest on Sean Hannity show on Fox TV, and a commentator on national radio networks, he contributes weekly to the Texas Faith Column at Dallas Morning News; fortnightly at Huffington post; and several other periodicals across the world. His personal site www.MikeGhouse.net indexes all his work through many links.

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