Texas Faith - how do we forgive?

Forgiveness brings complete relief, and this is how it works; when my late wife was about to go under hospice, one of the things I started working was tying the loose ends of her life. One of the examples was about an individual who had cheated her in a business transaction, she was angry at him and rightfully so, and for years, she was seething with anger whenever she saw him, if we entered a party, either he sneaked out or we walked out. I called him up, reluctantly he came, and the two sought forgiveness and cried. It is not merely words but acknowledgment of the wrong doing on one side and letting it go on the other without consequence.

Published at Dallas Morning on March 18, 2014 - How do we forgive
Continued - http://theghousediary.blogspot.com/2014/03/texas-faith-how-do-we-forgive.html


Texas Faith: How do we forgive?
By Rudolph Bush | rbush@dallasnews.com
1:25 pm on March 18, 2014 | Permalink
    
Three days after police found the body of 17-year-old Ivan Mejia in the woods in Garland, his father, Flavio, offered forgiveness to those responsible for the young man’s murder. It was the family’s first public statement.

Two of Ivan’s classmates are in custody for the murder, something police say occurred because of a fight over a girl.

Forgiveness is central to so many faiths. But how do we forgive? And what does forgiveness do for the one who forgives and the one who is forgiven? Can true forgiveness come so quickly as the Mejia family offered it, or must it come through time and grief?

Below is Flavio’s statement.

First, we want to thank you on behalf of our family for
respecting our privacy and our silence. We want Ivan to be remembered as a good servant of society who sought the well-being of others and gave a friendly hand in very humble ways and without pretensions. Also he held in high esteem his faith and his passion for Jesus.

It is because of the faith that we profess and that we instilled in Ivan that we hold no grudge toward the people involved in this unfortunate event. We pray for their families because we understand that just like us they are going through a very unpleasant time. We thank God for his strength, for his care of our family. We thank from our heart our congregation El Lugar de Su Presencia, the community, friends and relatives who have been of help and blessing in these moments that are so difficult for our family.

We have the certainty that our Ivan lived each moment of his life impassioned by his Creator and we know that he did it as a good soldier of Christ. Like the word says in 2 Timothy 4:7: “I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, and I have kept the faith.”

Thanks for your attention. We bless you in the name of Jesus.

 MIKE GHOUSE, President, Foundation for Pluralism and speaker on interfaith matters, Dallas


Forgiveness is indeed central to all faiths, and the right time to forgive starts from the moment one is harmed, hurt and injured by the other until one is free from anguish, discomfort and the need for justice.

Justice can be viewed as the ultimate harmony and balance between the subject and the elements that surround it, be it matter or life. Disturb that balance; everything goes haywire, until a new balance is attained or restored.

There are two sides to every equation – the receiving and giving. On the receiving end of the equation, the hurt is emotional or physical. When one is hurt physically, it has to be healed through medicine or physical therapy to restore the balance, but when it is emotional or spiritual; several options are available to be free including revenge and forgiveness.

In every occurrence of imbalance, there is a negative bonding that takes place, and causes one to brood, sulk, and seethe with anger towards the giver of such hurt. One is bonded to the other and simply cannot be shaken off. It can come off in two ways; getting even or forgiveness.

The Old Testament offers solace in getting even, an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth. I am not sure if they would be psychologically free from such an action, as the revenge is a continuum, it reshapes one from being a receiver to a giver of the hurt, and hence a new imbalance is created. This method is used by a portion of the population in each group.

Forgiveness brings complete relief, and this is how it works; when my late wife was about to go under hospice, one of the things I started working was tying the loose ends of her life. One of examples was about an individual who had cheated her in a business transaction, she was angry at him and rightfully so, and for years, she was seething with anger whenever she saw him, if we entered a party, either he sneaked out or we walked out. I called him up, reluctantly he came, and the two sought forgiveness and cried. It is not merely words but acknowledgment of the wrong doing on one side and letting it go on the other without consequence.

A few days before the end, when she could not speak any more, I asked forgiveness for my shortcomings, without blinking an eye she asked back. That brought us relief and gave us freedom, nirvana, moksha, mukti and salvation to both of us. That is precisely what Flavio Mejia did in Garland.

In my tradition Islam, forgiveness and compassion are placed at the highest of all deeds. God in the Quran says,  the most dearest person to him is the one who forgives. (this sentence modified).


To read the take of other panelists, please go to Dallas Morning News at http://dallasmorningviewsblog.dallasnews.com/2014/03/texas-faith-how-do-we-forgive.html/#more-36312

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Mike Ghouse is a speaker, thinker and a writer on pluralism, politics, peace, Islam, Israel, India, interfaith, and cohesion at work place. He is committed to building a Cohesive America and offers pluralistic solutions on issues of the day at www.TheGhousediary.com. He believes in Standing up for others and a book with the same title is coming up. Mike has a strong presence on national and local TV, Radio and Print Media. He is a frequent guest on Sean Hannity show on Fox TV, and a commentator on national radio networks, he contributes weekly to the Texas Faith Column at Dallas Morning News; fortnightly at Huffington post; and several other periodicals across the world. His personal site www.MikeGhouse.net indexes all his work through many links.