|Mina, Fern and Jeff Ghouse|
My kids Jeff and Mina and my daughter-in-law Fern left to India last night for a 15 day visit to Bangalore. My most important wish was for them to meet my mother, and both of them did just before she passed away twelve years ago. My mother had learned a few words in English to communicate with them… what a reversal!
My mother was an open minded pluralist woman with a big heart and an open mind. She was one of the most loved persons in the town.
Yesterday, I was beyond happiness that they chose to go on their own and spend time with their family. It was a good feeling to see them off… I was lost for a fraction of a second, thinking I was to take them with me... heavens, they are adults – Jeff is a big time attorney, Fern is a big time research engineer and Mina just got her degree in Psychology… they are not kids any more. Get over it Mike!
It was an emotional realization that they are out of my bounds, although we affirmed it when they turned 18, I lost that for a moment… it was the same feeling, when I walked with my sister when she got married and left home with her husband for the first time… I was crying …walking on the railway platform in Yelahanka in January of 1970 and running along with the train until I could not keep up with it. I was sad.
But I was not crying today, I was happy that they are keeping connected with my family, Jeff and Fern have developed affinity with Tanveer and Tamanna (nephew and niece) and my brothers and in-laws, nieces and nephews – 10 of them in all. I hope Mina develops that relationship with her family as well, for her to go on her own…
Connecting with the families has its own rewards... it gives firm grounding in the moments of despair and joy. I hope we get over our egos and find our base. There is peace in it.