Happy Fathers day - a tribute to my father

 Happy Father's day | The Ghouse Diary.com

On  this father's day, I will be dedicating half an hour to reflect on my father; Mohamed Abdul Rahman.  He is one of my mentors, and an affectionate and caring father who opened many windows of knowledge for me.

If I am a pluralist today, if I respect the otherness of others and have no prejudice towards others, it was his teaching; living by example.  With what happened in Charleston two days ago, McKinney a few weeks ago, Baltimore and St. Louis a few months ago, his stand on equality in thoughts, acts and talks makes a whole lot of sense. 

If you are one of the parents who teach your children to look down on people other than your own kind, you are essentially running a sewer in their body system and messing them up for a life time. It would be difficult for them to live with people who are different than them.  You must turn in yourselves into some educational courses to set yourselves free from prejudices. If it is you, please go to interfaith meetings and  inter cultural events, it will gradually fix you up by removing the sewer line and replacing it with oxygen. 

In the 1950’s and 60’s India was pretty much like the United States, both nations treated their Blacks and Dalits shamelessly. The Dalits, also known as untouchables were not allowed to step in your homes – my father broke all the wrongful norms of the society, not only did they come in our home, they also ate from the same plates as we did, and drank the tea from the same cups. Both of my parents were free when they left this world, they were mukt, got their moksha earned their nirvana and received their salvation with Nijaat.

It was a big no-no at that time,  and many of his friends said unsavory words, but my father stood his ground. I see that streak in me playing it out all the times. Thank you Dad for inculcating the value of treating every human with full dignity, and that is just one of the thousands of things you blessed me with. I love to see all of God's creation treated fairly and justly.

Indeed, my father endured criticism and some abuse from his conservative friends; Hindus, Muslims and others at that time.

 My parents told us (me and my siblings) that we are all one family, from Adam and Eve and that we will have differences and have to learn to live with each other. they often quoted the verse from Quran, to respect the otherness of others - Lakum dinakum Wali addin.

My prayers also go to my father figure Mr. Everett Blauvelt, who opened the doors for me to enter the United States.  He was indeed a very caring man and named me Mike. He was a good listener.

I miss them both today. I also appreciate my friends who are father figures to me - Davendra Maini, Bill Matthews and Harbans Lal.

My heart goes out to those who did not have a good relationship with their fathers but, despite that they have survived, and they can give that affection to their off springs and others. Father's day is a difficult day for them, while others are cherishing their fathers, they are struggling with mixed feelings to the feelings of hate. It's not easy, and there is no quick fix to it, other than reflecting on it, and taking the responsibility to your own life. Life is given to each one of us as a trust,  and at least we can live up to it.

Life is all about expressions and completing transactions. Every emotion, thought, action or a change creates a new debt or a favor that needs to be re-balanced. Obviously we cannot reciprocate the favors in full, but we have been able to do that with a thank you in the most simplistic way and that is good enough.

One of the incomplete transactions of my life was not being able to do the things I wanted to do for my father. As a kid I would step in and take over the work from him so he can take rest, an Indian tradition that I cherish. When I moved to Saudi Arabia on an assignment, I sent my first check to him with which he started paying off my loan. With the next check I asked him to buy clothes for the family and wanted him to replace his old black Jacket he wore forever with a new one. He said no, first things first. In the first week of December 1977 my check paid off all my loans, and with the next check I asked him to oblige me, and he said he will. Man, I am feeling a deluge of emotions as I am writing this for the 2^nd time, darn it. my eyes are welled up again.
 

He did not get the check; he passed away a day before receiving it.  He lived up to his own words, "Until my last breath, I will be earning my living and taking care of my family." Darn it, he did it. I was angry for my helplessness, and was happy that the man kept his word. But that created a huge vacuum in my life and I continue to recover my balance by serving the senior friends in whatever little way I can. You can always count on me to drop everything off to attend to a senior's request.

My father is my hero and opened the doors of wisdom to us. Pluralism indeed runs in my family. He taught one of the biggest lessons of my life in social cohesiveness and dealing with extremism that I continue to reflect in my talks, acts and write ups.

During the communal riots in Jabalpur (India) in the early sixties, both Muslims and Hindus were killed in the mayhem. I wish every father in India, America and elsewhere teaches this lesson to his kids. He was crystal clear on his take; He told us the "individuals" are responsible for the bloodshed and not the religions; he would emphasize that you cannot blame the intangible religion and expect justice, we must blame the individuals who caused it and punish them accordingly for disturbing the peace and thus bring a resolution to the conflict by serving justice. He said you cannot annihilate, kill, hang or beat the religion, then why bark at it?
 

My father was a Mayor of the Town of Yelahanka (The town gave birth to Bangalore in 1537) and served the council for many years. He was also the president of the Muslim Association of the town. We grew up with no barriers between us and other human being. 

He treated all of us kids with dignity and I am pleased I got to be disciplined at least once in my life. I guess I replicated that with my children to the point my kids would actually say, Dad, you should have disciplined us. I did not see the need for it. I am fine and they are fine too. I gave them the cold shoulder that my father had given me to straighten me out, and it worked both ways, although my daughter was a tough cookie, she would not budge.
 

I was about ten years old and watched a man fall off his bicycle with his big bag of rice and was struggling to get back on it, and I wasn't going to help him, instead I was laughing at him. I saw my father about 100 feet away and the way he sped towards me, which got me frightened for the first time, I dashed inside the home and a few minutes later after helping the guy,  he came in dashing… I climbed on top of the paddy bags in a corner of the house, I thought he could not get me there, so he goes outside and plucks a long branch off the mulberry tree and gives me a few good ones. "My son will never do that" after that conditioning, I have developed the habit of stopping for everyone who needs help. I dare not watch and not do something about it.

To those who have not had a father or had a negative experience, God has offered guidance through the instrument of forgiveness to release you from the pain. Just do it. I will be happy to be a big brother or even a father figure in the moment of your need. It's an open offer to call me at (214) 325-1916, let’s keep it to 5 minutes.
 

God bless us all, Amen!

Thank you,
mike ghouse   
(214) 325-1916

Mike is a speaker, thinker, writer, pluralist,  TV-Radio commentator and a human rights activist committed to building cohesive societies and offers pluralistic solutions on issues of the day. His info in 63 links at MikeGhouse.net and writings at TheGhouseDiary.com 

Change your Password regularly

I hope you do that regularly, if not, it is a good practice to change your password at least once a month, if you are super active on face book and emails.   Keep different password for face book and your main email account.

Create your own code to remember the password and keep it handy, it’s miserable to forget the password.  Remember to change it on your desktop, laptop, ipad and cell phone.

Ask the people who have lost a whole lot of data, they will tell you the misery of someone messing with your email and face book.  I have not had any trouble with them in the last six months, thank God.

Please do not open any email links you receive, even from your friends, unless they write a note about it, and you know it is them.

Don't give your password to any soul, no matter what tricks they employ in your email.

Just don't give it.

Have a safe internet experience. 

Mike Ghouse,

Motivational Speaker 

(214) 325-1916

Mike is a speaker, thinker, writer, pluralist and a human rights activist committed to building cohesive societies and offers pluralistic solutions on issues of the day. A Tv and a radio commentator. Complete Info in 63 links at MikeGhouse.net and his writings are at TheGhouseDiary.com 

Listening is a powerful skill

LISTENING IS POWERFUL | THE GHOUSE DIARY.COM

http://theghousediary.blogspot.com/2015/05/listening-is-powerful-skill.html

Remember your recent date, meeting with your business partner or the sale you wrapped up?  Do you recall he/she pouring her heart out and telling all the good, bad and ugly things of life? If you listen to him/her intently with all your heart, mind and soul, you'd become his/her best friend.   
Communication is a two Way Street, once she realizes that you have heard her, and effortlessly let her know what you understood, it bonds you. There is nothing more powerful than listening.

There is not a soul on this earth who would not want to be understood, repeating what you just heard from the other is very effective; you don’t have to agree, but just acknowledge what she/he said, once that acknowledgement takes place, and people will fall head over heels for you, if they feel you really understood them. There are times we wreck that ideal intentionally or accidentally.

I have met a few individuals who are super good listeners...among them General Pervaz Musharraf ranks very high for his listening skills along with (I blame him for what he did to Pakistan, and sequentially to the possible relationship with India) a few other great ones.

Last night I met someone who beat Musharraf in listening test; former Congressman Ron Paul. Hell, he is a damn good listener, even though we met for 5 minutes or less, he listened to me and repeated what he understood – about Libertarianism and Pluralism. 

 I was in a press conference in 2001-2 with Musharraf in Washington Press Club - when he walked out, I was determined to have a minute with him and he gave "7" instead. My Questions were direct, “should something happen to you, do you have a backup plan?”  He told me that he has the plans – that was pure BS. Then I asked him to initiate Cricket Diplomacy - he was right, it was up to the sports clubs and not him. Now during those few minutes, his ambassador Lodhi, interrupted twice - he turned around and told her, I gave this man 7 minutes and if you interrupt, I will add that time back,  she walked away... he listened to everything I said and repeated. That is a quality we all can learn.

Listening binds you with people… it is an aphrodisiac. It is not just listening, but not allowing competing thoughts, acts and talks – those 7 minutes were solid 7 minutes of communications.  Foot ball is played in 3 hours, but net play is only for an hour making every second of that hour count.  

One of the best things I have done in my life was – to sit by Mom in my last few visits,  just sit next to her for three to four hours and listen to her.  OMG, the joy on her face made my life, and I can last through my end times with that energy.  She probably knew that I was sleeping when she was talking to me, however, my brain had figured out to keep oon, ooing as if I was listening…  Does that happen to you? Now I do the same with my sister and it is such a joy to me, I mean really listen to her and not oon oon.

I am constantly making an effort to be a good listener, and trying to see my gross and net time with the individual is the same.  I want to get it all in one shot, instead of going back and figuring out.  Way back I used to take notes, now I don’t. I want to listen and capture all of it, and don’t want my mind to wander.  At times I feel so good for being a good listener, and I wish I could score ‘A’ all the times, but have learned to live with D’s once a while.  If you are monotonic like my mother and Henry Kissinger, I am gone into the world of puffy clouds.

 Give it a shot to be a good listener, you’ll love it.

Mike Ghouse is motivational speaker and a trainer committed to building cohesive work places and societies and offers pluralistic solutions on issues of the day.  Mike has been on Fox TV with Sean Hannity for over 100 shows, and equally on nationally syndicated radio talk shows. He has authored over 2500 articles and has two books on the horizon, as well as a film and a documentary in the making. His work is listed in 63 links at www.MikeGhouse.net and his writings are at TheGhouseDiary.com

Home again at New Homes workshop with Mar'Sue Haffner

HOME AGAIN WITH MAR'SUE HAFFNER | THE GHOUSE DIARY.COM
http://theghousediary.blogspot.com/2015/05/home-again-at-new-homes-workshop-with.html

Dallas, May 20-21 - My former boss Mar'Sue Haffner called me up to give a talk on dealing with New Home buyers from different cultural backgrounds.

It was a two day workshop for updating and equipping the new homes sales people and Realtors with the latest in technology, diversity of the consumers and their needs.  The home buying public deserves to have well trained people in the market to help families achieve their dream of home ownership. 

The work shop was conducted by Mar'Sue and Ralph Williams; two of the best sales trainers in the home building industry. I was in the Home building business for nearly 25 years, and it was like being home with this group, and what a joy it was to be a part of their team.  

Beverely Biehl and Von Truong talked about Feng Shui, and Ram Konara talked about Vastu Shastra. They gave amazing presentations and shared their expertise in their field, it was impressive!  You know what? When a black cat runs in front of you, as Beverly pointed out, you become cautious and take the steps to prevent any mishaps. Unlike that superstition, Feng Shui, and Vastu Shastra are real sciences that help you live a better life from enhancing the positive energy from sun, wind, water, trees and other elements of nature in applying to the layout and arrangement of the house. Indeed, all of this training is to help families improve the quality of their lives.

I have always considered Mar'Sue to be one of the top trainers in the home building industry; she has a big hand in the meteoric success of Grand Homes, she kept the organization together. Indeed, she is one of my favorite mentors along with Mike Davis (Drees) and Bob Hafer (Ryland). I also owe my extensive-intensive training to Gemcraft Homes from the early 80's.

Ralph Williams is an incredible trainer - he was quick on his feet and connected with the people, and there is none like him when it comes to interpreting numbers for the detailed oriented organized customers and making it easy for them.

We had a good combination of seasoned professionals as well as the newbies in the business, the exchange of experiences among them was awesome. I am glad to see them express it so well.

Thanks to the sponsors David Reas and Peter Klamkin of Reverse Mortgage and the super Realtor Leonard McManaman of Keller Williams, who made this workshop possible.

My talk was centered on 'personal commitment’, and what it can do for you in whatever you choose to do in life, and what does it take to excel in what you do. I concluded the talk by urging everyone to tie the loose ends of their lives and business as frequently as they can. This includes but not limited to following up with the customers, they deserve to be called back, practicing the critical path of guiding them through the process of home buying, having the information on the finger tips, and finally  sticking to the systems in place on the business side.

 On the personal side, complete the little incomplete transactions with family members, friends and other people including customers you deal with, boldly seek forgiveness for any shortcoming on your part. Tying the loose ends of life is one of the best things you can do for yourselves, it empowers you to have a sense of completion with every transaction of life and every day. Indeed, it releases you from all the negativity that rests with incomplete transactions of life.  Make yourselves a free person, unencumbered by the previous negative transaction to march on to the next with your full heart, mind and the soul.

I shared a few pointers on sales – listening and connecting with people. Not putting them on spot but understanding the permission they have given to go ahead and take the next step. Learning to negotiate and make it easy for the first time home buyers, particularly the Asian buyers, and understand their motivations.  Be just and fair to all, you cannot go wrong with that, you'd sleep well and each one of them will sleep well know that you were just to each one of them, and fair within your limitations.

Special thanks to Brittney Myers for organizing this efficiently, everything went flawlessly. Thanks also the management of Pirch facility, nice!  Of course it was a delight to see a few people, whom I have not seen in a while.

The home buying public deserves to have well trained people in the market to help families achieve the American dream of home ownership.

Mike Ghouse is motivational speaker and a trainer committed to building cohesive work places and societies and offers pluralistic solutions on issues of the day.  Mike has been on Fox TV with Sean Hannity for over 100 shows, and equally on nationally syndicated radio talk shows. He has authored over 2500 articles and has two books on the horizon, as well as a film and a documentary in the making. His work is listed in 63 links at www.MikeGhouse.net and his writings are at TheGhouseDiary.com. 

Mother's Day Interfaith Celebrations - Huffington Post

Mother is the ultimate definition of selflessness! No matter what happens to the world or even her, she is there for you in your need; she recognizes your need much before you know it. Of course every day is Mother's day, and each one of us honors her in a variety of ways. From simple caring to doing things for her that makes her happy. Mothers don't need a whole lot; they just need to know that you care. Remember you were showered by her attention when you needed it.

Every religious tradition has elevated mother to nearly the status of God, because she possess many a qualities of God; kind, merciful, beneficent and caring among thousand other qualities. Mother is the reason for our existence; sustenance, nurturance and shaping who we are. I dedicate this write-up to my Mother, and all the Mothers out there. There is a beautiful song in Urdu/Hindi language

Full Report with Mother as she is called in over hundred global languages and almost all South Asian Languages - continued at: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/mike-ghouse/mothers-day-interfaith-ce_b_7233900.html

# # #

Mike Ghouse is committed to building cohesive societies and offers pluralistic solutions on issues of the day- all about him at www.MikeGhouse.net

The black people of India - Learn India by Mike Ghouse

I have written extensively about the nature of India’s multi-racial, multi-religious, multi-ethnic, multi-lingual and multi-cultural society.

In an article on Republic Day a few years ago, I wrote, “We are a nation of all races, ethnicities, cultures and religions.”

Invariably a smart ass Indian objected that we do not have the black race, and I am saddened that many of us Indians don’t know much about India.  How many of us know our neighbors?

Do we know what our neighbors celebrations like Ramnvami, Paryushan, Ramadan, Gurpurab, Easter, Khordad Sal,  Ashura, Rosh Hashanah, and how many of us know the real teachings of different religions? Have we participated in at least 3 different ones?  Socially, are we really smart? 


India is really a very diverse nation, as I call America and India, are God's own countries, a cosmic representation of the universe.
The Indian Ocean remains virtually untouched by modern civilization.
http://mikeghouseforindia.blogspot.com/2013/06/the-indian-ocean-remain-virtually.html

 

Three years ago, in February 2010, Bo died, she was the last speaker of the Bo language, with her died a language of the world. She belonged to one of the oldest tribes on the earth, nearly 5000 years old tribe. A press release was issued then at http://mikeghouseforindia.blogspot.com/2010/02/press-release-in-behalf-of-indians-of.html  

THE SIDI PEOPLE - BLACK PEOPLE OF INDIA

There is so much more to us than we have been taught. Our history is great and stretches further back than we have been lead to believe and is not exclusive to Africa. 
PLEASE SHARE THIS VIDEO WITH YOUR CHILDREN since they will not be taught this at school

THE SIDI PEOPLE - OF GUJARATVideo - https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=606738259363319

Declare that India is God’s own country, and is represented by every race, nationality, ethnicity, language, culture and religion. We see God as one, none and many; and in every form; male, female, genderless and non-existent, being and non-being, nameless and with innumerable names, and as Indians, we should not be biased towards any one. Aspire for an India that the world can emulate; a pluralistic democracy where everyone can eat, drink, wear or believe whatever he or she wants to in her pursuit of happiness. 

My Republic Day Message to Obama and Modi

http://mikeghouseforindia.blogspot.com/2015/01/republic-day-message-to-modi-and-obama.html

Did you have a good 2014?

If you did, congratulations! Please share how you did it. If you did not, don’t despair. I will make a deal with you and nothing should be free. You do what I ask you to do in one hour’s time, and if you don’t feel lifted up and see a purposeful, meaningful and enjoyable life, then let me know.

I urge you to go to the nearest library and spend one hour in solitude with you and your note pad, no phone, no bathroom and no email diversions. Remember, you give time for others, and it is time to give that hour to yourselves, it is worth it. Review your hi's and lo's for the last year and work on improving on deficiencies and cherishing the good things. Don’t panic, I have made it simple for you, just read this article "Blue print for a successful life" in Huffington post. Just do it.

Huffington Post - http://www.huffingtonpost.com/mike-ghouse/2014-a-blueprint-for-a-pu_b_4517662.html 

You must do it before the end of the year.

But if you see your 2015 could become purposeful for you, all I ask you to do is support America Together Foundation with a token of appreciation with a donation of $10 to $10,000 before the year ends for tax deductions. Go to www.AmericaTogetherFoundation.com and read “About Us”, then click the tab “Documentary” and watch the video for 11 minutes and if you feel you should support the a non-profit tax deductible foundation, donate it before 12/31/2014 at- http://americatogetherfoundation.com/donate/

Fair enough?

You choose to be the driver of your life or be driven by others. The choice as well as the excuse is yours. I pray that we retain the ability to choose what we want in our lives. If I ask you next year on 12/28/2015 how did your year go, you should be able to say, I achieved at least half of what I planned. What if you had not planned at all?

Mike Ghouse
All about me in 63 links is at: www.MikeGhouse.net

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Did you have a purposeful 2014? Don't despair

If you did, congratulations! Please share how you did it. If you did not, don’t despair. I will make a deal with you and nothing should be free. You do what I ask you to do in one hour’s time, and if you don’t feel lifted up and see a purposeful, meaningful and enjoyable life, then let me know.

I urge you to go to the nearest library and spend one hour in solitude with you and your note pad, no phone, no bathroom and no email diversions. Remember, you give time for others, and it is time to give that hour to yourselves, it is worth it. Review your hi's and lo's for the last year and work on improving on deficiencies and cherishing the good things. Don’t panic, I have made it simple for you, just read this article "Blue print for a successful life" in Huffington. Just do it.

Huffington Post article:   http://www.huffingtonpost.com/mike-ghouse/2014-a-blueprint-for-a-pu_b_4517662.html

You must do it before the end of the year.

But if you see your 2015 could become purposeful for you, all I ask you to do is support America Together Foundation with a token of appreciation with a donation of $10 to $10,000 before the year ends for tax deductions. Go to  www.AmericaTogetherFoundation.com and read “About Us”, then click the tab “Documentary” and watch the video for 11 minutes and if you feel you should support the a non-profit tax deductible foundation, donate it before 12/31/2014 at- http://americatogetherfoundation.com/donate/

Fair enough?

You choose to be the driver of your life or be driven by others. The choice as well as the excuse is yours. I pray that we retain the ability to choose what we want in our lives. If I ask you next year on 12/28/2015 how did your year go, you should be able to say, I achieved at least half of what I planned. What if you had not planned at all?

 All about me in 63 links is at: www.MikeGhouse.net

Thank you,

Mike Ghouse
(214) 325-1916 text/talk
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Mike Ghouse is a public speaker, thinker, writer and a commentator on Pluralism at work place, politics, religion, society, gender, race, culture, ethnicity, food and foreign policy. He is a staunch defender of human rights and his book standing up for others will be out soon, and a movie "Americans together" is in the making.  He is a frequent guest commentator on Fox News and syndicated Talk Radio shows and a writer at major news papers including Dallas Morning News and Huffington Post. All about him is listed in 63 links at www.MikeGhouse.net and his writings are at www.TheGhousediary.com and 10 other blogs. He is committed to building cohesive societies and offers pluralistic solutions on issues of the day.

The joy of being one

Whether the situation is within the family – saying one thing to your sister and the other to your brother, one to your spouse and the other to your friend… that is the worst thing we can do to ourselves and our joy.

Over the years I have learned that if you are one and the same no matter where you are, what you do… and if you speak the same whether your are sleepy, drunk, angry, calm… you’ll be the happiest person on the earth. That was my mother’s advice when I was a kid, and I appreciate that very much.

by the way, I speak, write, think and act the same whether I am with Muslims, Christians, Jews, Hindus or any one, and with White, African American, Asian or European … and it wouldn’t worry me a bit what others’ say, I am the same and that gives me peace.

Mike Ghouse
www.MikeGhouse.net

Life goes on, shouldn't it?

Some of us who have lost everything in life to a few things or nothing....today becomes yesterday by tomorrow... Another day will be gone, and another month and another year... and one day we will not be able to notice this passage.

Standing by the river at sunrise, I wonder about the incessant flow of water. No matter what is happening in world, the river keeps flowing, sun keeps rising, seasons keep changing, people keep birthing, marrying, divorcing and dying everyday... Do we stop? Does our life stop? Should it stop when things are difficult?

What should we do when people in Iraq are being killed by the rogues claiming to be the state, people in Gaza are being killed by the state claiming to be civil... People in Africa are dying of Ebola, Aids and hunger. People like Robin Williams who are ending their lives abruptly... how painful and unbearable must it have be?

We are merely a speck in this universe... Nothing will stop for us, should we stop living? Hell no! I got out of my bed this morning mulling over this. We have another day to experience, and shouldn't it be our choice to appreciate it, cherish it, weep it or brood it over? What are your thoughts?

I pray for things to get better for every one, that is the least I can do, Amen?
Thank you
mike
Mike Ghouse
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Mike Ghouse is a public speaker, thinker, writer and a commentator on Pluralism at work place, politics, religion, society, gender, race, culture, ethnicity, food and foreign policy. All about him is listed in several links at www.MikeGhouse.net and his writings are at www.TheGhousediary.com and 10 other blogs. He is committed to building cohesive societies and offers pluralistic solutions on issues of the day.