Are we connected with our Kids - a good story

ARE WE CONNECTED WITH OUR KIDS?

Many of us have been shocked with the discovery that our kids and us are too far apart, even though we may pretend it otherwise. I have seen too many parents cry it out loud, “I did not know this was going to happen.” 

One of my friends sent his kid to the best of schools in Dallas and always talked about the money he was spending on him - as if the son was a stock market. He ran away and never wanted to see the parents again. I feel the pain of the father, but I also feel the misery his son is enduring. There was no connection between the kids and his parents – everything was money to them.

A few years ago, one of the kids was shot in an accidental fire between rival gangs, the parents were on TV, and it was embarrassing to watch them talk– they were talking about money again! They have done everything for him and listing the monies they have spent on his BMW, Rolex Watches, Armani Suits… and he does this!  Man it looks like their stock market crashed and not their son.

If we are connected well, not perfectly, but relatively well. Meaning we cease to become parents in the sense of advisers – but become good friends in terms of listening to them, then they will share all about them, if we can hold ourselves and listen to them without interrupting. Imagine this; you are excited or hurt about something, and you want your spouse, friend or kids or any human with two years to listen to you, instead if you get advice and interruption, you disconnect with them.

All it takes is UN-interrupted listening.  My life is not perfect either, but my kids talk with me comfortably. My daughter tests me with shocking revelations, it puts my patience on test, but listening to her is part of the affection and caring. She knows it was difficult and when she sees that I value what she had to say and patiently listen, she would realize that and acknowledge it, then I would say, yes, it was difficult and was very tempting to interrupt, but listening to you was far more important than interrupting you. This bonds us.

True friendship with your kids is when you listen to them so intently that they will share everything, it gives them relief, removes the barriers and a strong bond of trust is created. Then neither of you will lose the other.

It’s not too late for any one. You can always begin afresh! Be a cheer leaders to your kids when they turn 18.

HERE  IS AN ESSAY FROM A CHILD

A teacher from Primary School asks her students to write an essay about 

What they would like God to do for them...

At the end of the day while marking the essays, she read one that made her very emotional. Her husband, that had just walked in saw her crying and asked her - What happened?

She answered - Read this. It's one of my student’s essays.

Oh God, tonight I ask you something very special: Make me into a television. I want to take its place. Live like the TV in my house. Have my own special place, and have my family around ME. To be taken seriously when I talk.... I want to be the center of attention and be heard without interruptions or questions. I want to receive the same 

Special care that the TV receives when it is not working. Have the company of my dad when he arrives home from work, even when he is tired.

And I want my mom to want me when she is sad and upset, instead of ignoring me... And... I want my brothers to fight to be with me... I want to feel that family just leaves everything aside, every now and then, just to spend some time with me. And last but not least make it that I can make them all happy and entertain them...

Lord I don't ask you for much... I just want to live like every TV

At that moment the husband said:

- 'My God, poor kid. What horrible parents!

She looked up at him and said:

- 'That essay is our son's!!!

URL- http://theghousediary.blogspot.com/2013/03/are-we-connected-with-our-kids-good.html

....... Mike Ghouse is a speaker, thinker and a writer on pluralism, politics, peace, Islam, Israel, India, interfaith, and cohesion at work place. He is committed to building a Cohesive America and offers pluralistic solutions on issues of the day at www.TheGhousediary.com. He believes in Standing up for others and has done that throughout his life as an activist. Mike has a presence on national and local TV, Radio and Print Media. He is a frequent guest on Sean Hannity show on Fox TV, and a commentator on national radio networks, he contributes weekly to the Texas Faith Column at Dallas Morning News; fortnightly at Huffington post; and several other periodicals across the world. His personal site www.MikeGhouse.net indexes all his work through many links.

Balance in life, how do you achieve it

HOW TO ACHIEVE BALANCE IN YOUR LIFE

Imagine walking on a tight rope between two points; you have to have a perfect balance to walk through it comfortably to complete the walk. Life is no different, every day we dodge the conversations, go head on collisions with with fellow workers, fight back with spouse, scream at friends, apologize, forgive, regret or repent..… with an unexpressed goal to remain secure and in balance.

At times, our acts and words throw us further out instead of bringing the balance. If you go through this exercise, and add to it your own questions and answer it… you will find in full control of yourselves. please feel free to share it, you might help others benefit, or more than likely you may find an answer.

Losing Material balance:

If your dining table loses one of its 4 legs
If one of the tires in your car has low air pressure
if you carry 100 # bag on one side and 10 # on the other
If you….

Losing mental balance

When we text while drive
When we get angry
When we are sad or vulnerable
When we are drunk
When we forget to say thanks to a friend
When we choose to hold the grudges

Losing spiritual balance

When you got too many things going at one time
When confusion enters your mind
When you don’t know yourselves
When you lie to some one
When you betray the trust with some one
When you break an agreement
When you bad mouth others

How do you gain the balance back?

Call back the person you failed to say thanks
Just don’t drink and drive
Fill the tires back up
Never lie – if you do, figure it out to offset
Some are easy, some are not, and that is life.
It is you choice if you want to have that balance or not.

This is the simplistic formula for simple issues; the tough items of life are no different. There is no reason for any one to have the balance in life.

You cannot achieve balance in everything, but the more things you balance in your life, the happier you would be.

If you have a group, we can carry a interactive workshop in achieving balance in life.

URL - http://theghousediary.blogspot.com/2013/03/balance-in-life-how-do-you-achieve-it.html

Mike Ghouse is a life coach. He will motivate, educate and entertain your group in creating a cohesive environment to work, socialize and function effectively. He offers pluralistic solutions on issues of the day . Details at www.mikeghouse.net